Tuesday, September 23, 2008

little reminders

Little reminders keep life in perspective for me. Last night I yelled. Yelled over toys in the living room. I was trying to make dinner, and toys were strewn all over the place, and I yelled. I finally said I was going to pick up the toys and keep them in my room, and not get them back for a long time. I also took away tv shows for the night and this morning. I was tired, hungry, and just feeling broken down about money.

This morning, while catching up on email, I saw pictures of the devestation of Hurrican Ike. What a complete nightmare. Here I am wallowing in self pity about toys and kids and money, while people have much bigger things to worry about. I keep trudging through, what else is there to do. This brings me to my next point.

Lately I've been wondering if I've done everything I wanted to do in my 20s-since my 30s begin next year. I'm not where I thought I would be (broke) but I do have my degree and my family. I've learned a lot about myself this past year-way more than I thought I could or would. I learned about jealousy, regret, patience, love, death, kindness, and so much more. I struggle to live in the moment, instead of worrying about what needs to get done, my long to-do list, all the stuff that comes with being a wife and mother. However, that's typically not my nature-or at least it wasn't while I was single and carefree. I yearn to be carefree, I want that back.

Here's to hoping with the lifestyle choices I'm making for us, it'll get us to a point of being more relaxed, carefree, or at least more balanced.

1 comment:

Jilse said...

I never thought I would be broke at 30 either. I thought once you got married and had a family everything would be peaches and cream and money wouldn't be a problem. Boy was I wrong.

I hear you. Things really get put into perspective when you hear about others who have lost their homes, their families, and even their lives. It makes me grateful for everything we do have. Even if I wish that we had more.

Try to enjoy this last year of your twenties. I didn't think turning 30 would hit me as hard as it did, but boy did it.