little reminders

Little reminders keep life in perspective for me. Last night I yelled. Yelled over toys in the living room. I was trying to make dinner, and toys were strewn all over the place, and I yelled. I finally said I was going to pick up the toys and keep them in my room, and not get them back for a long time. I also took away tv shows for the night and this morning. I was tired, hungry, and just feeling broken down about money.

This morning, while catching up on email, I saw pictures of the devestation of Hurrican Ike. What a complete nightmare. Here I am wallowing in self pity about toys and kids and money, while people have much bigger things to worry about. I keep trudging through, what else is there to do. This brings me to my next point.

Lately I've been wondering if I've done everything I wanted to do in my 20s-since my 30s begin next year. I'm not where I thought I would be (broke) but I do have my degree and my family. I've learned a lot about myself this past year-way more than I thought I could or would. I learned about jealousy, regret, patience, love, death, kindness, and so much more. I struggle to live in the moment, instead of worrying about what needs to get done, my long to-do list, all the stuff that comes with being a wife and mother. However, that's typically not my nature-or at least it wasn't while I was single and carefree. I yearn to be carefree, I want that back.

Here's to hoping with the lifestyle choices I'm making for us, it'll get us to a point of being more relaxed, carefree, or at least more balanced.