I keep telling myself, one foot in front of the other, and progress shall be made. Today was one of those days where I needed a good reminder of that. I don't know if I got it.
I went to a playdate, and had a nice time w/ baby E. I got reminded of how I struggled through school to get my degree, and sometimes I wonder if it was worth it-I'm still at home, even though I had grand plans to work. At the same time, I know I'm done, I achieved that goal, and I'm working towards my next goal-even though I don't know exactly what that is yet. Part of me wonders how life would have been had I waited until my boys were older to go back to school myself-but yet I feel deep down that no matter what, there's always something I would have missed-whether it was a playgroup then, or a field trip later on. Sacrifices would be made either way-less money to spend on fun stuff, still worried about college for the boys, and retirement for R and I. Either way some events and milestones would be missed/delayed, but yet my boys amd R know that I love them, and that I did what I did for myself and for the good of our family. So I tell myself, no more mommy guilt.
Fast forward a few hours later. Kids screaming, yelling. Dinner hasn't been made. I miss the working world. I wish I could just say, hey lets go out and grab a pizza. Instead, I defrost some chicken, and make a better than expected dinner. Its been a long day, I'm looking forward to tomorrow. We'll go to the park, feed the ducks. Maybe take a few pictures too.