Sunday, March 25, 2012

how did I get here

How did I get here? I find myself asking that very question-as I look online to learn how to clean without chemicals. I say that as I ponder traveling for a few days with my husband for his 50th birthday, sans four children. I say that as I think about meal planning, a la Ree Drummond. I am here, alive, kicking, full of good intentions. Life is humming...and our anniversary is one month away. Eight years ago to now, where I sit, thinking, how did I get here? Going down memory lane quite a journey, wonder what lies ahead.
Love this song that plays on the radio ♥

Saturday, March 24, 2012


We switched up our monthly moms night out last night, and had a moms night in. I brought my crock pot chocolate cake and ice cream, along with a bottle of wine. Loved relaxing on the couch to watch I Don't Know How She Does It. Great conversation with friends, low key way of spending an evening. I could definitely relate to some aspects of the main character-and reminding myself that I need to slow down myself too.

This weekend will hopefully be the first weekend, knock on wood, that no one is sick-or sick enough to warrant a trip to urgent care. I am grateful that we have health care, so we could get all the meds we needed over the past month to get everyone healthy again. It was all sorts of crazy seeing one child get ill, and then another, then us, and back around to the others.

Low key weekend-lazy weekend-dinner out as a family, a trip to Just Between Friends, Imagine-U, perhaps some gardening, crafting. We need time to bounce back from being ill, slow and steady. Love the family time, grateful for all we have :)

Tuesday, March 20, 2012


Always noisy, except for meal time. Love these kids that keep me going, even when I'm sick.

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Five years

This week has been the week of urgent care visits. It has been the week of no coupon-ing, living out of the pantry, staying one load ahead of laundry, more times of counting to ten so I don't lose my patience week. I'm still standing. I thought I would come on here tonight, filled with ideas and quotes from my children-yet I can't do it. I can't. What is on my mind now is the knowledge of what one of my peers shared with me tonight from Auston's dad.

You see, Auston's dad came back this weekend. He came back this weekend to go back to work-his work that told him his sick time ran out and his pay would be docked if he stayed out longer. So he returned to work, and mom went out to finish radiation. Radiation that should have been over in a couple of weeks-now at least four weeks. I want to write out more what has transpired since my last post, yet it still is hard to wrap my head around; let alone write. Yet what was said to me tonight, as hard as it is to hear, to wrap my head around, gave me hope. Its weird.

You see, a discharge year, 2017 was given. 2017. Who here has thought of where they will be in 2017? I haven't. Not now. But because I now have that year on my mind, I will be 37, Robert will be 54, Matthew will be 12 (almost 13) and in the seventh grade, Gabriel will be 11 and in the 6th grade, Elijah will be nine and in the 4th grade, and Rebecca will be six and in the 1st grade. That gives me chills, thinking of it that way. 5 years of treatment in some form lies ahead. Statistics are numbing. It makes you marvel at life, medicine, things that have no answer. I could look at this one way-or I can see it another.




I am torn wanting to run, cry, and I'm not even his mom-yet this continues to touch me to my core. I've heard motherhood changes you-makes it where your heart lives outside your chest, you don't see faces of those hurting just as nameless people-but as someone's daughter. Someone's son.

My head still hurts from sickness. Yet its nothing life altering. Not like our friends. I am at a weird place.

Thursday, March 8, 2012

No words.....

T-24 hours until the big day! Day for picking up donations with the guys! Its not too late to have your stuff added, call me for pick up or drop it off at my house today/on site tomorrow morning!

Blown away by the Kingsburg community. Donations (6 tvs, gym equipment, two trailer loads of furniture, an estate, a bike trailer, and much more) still coming in. The Sperlings are loved. Awesome yard sale tomorrow 7am-next to Toms Donuts in Kingsburg — withDustin Sperling and Robert Allen.
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My family continues to be humbled by the support that we have received from the Kingsburg Community. Jennifer, we cannot thank you and your family enough for your support. You will forever hold a special place in our family's heart. Thank You.

And just like that, Kingsburg community yard sale comes to a close. Amazing, renews spirit, grateful to those who help others. Thankful

So how much did we raise for the Sperlings? Robert is tickled pink counting, knowing who's getting it. Gratitude ♥
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I cannot thank you and your family enough for the huge amount of time and energy it took to plan and execute the community yard sale yesterday!! You are an amazing woman and we feel so blessed that you would do all of that for our family! God bless you!!!
    • Jennifer Goldberg Allen Its your family that is amazing ♥ the amount of love that people have for you Jill, Dustin, and your kids, is...I don't have the words. All I kept thinking was "WOW" People just coming and coming, it never died down, even as we were bagging items for the KCAPS truck. Amazing volunteers, people I have never met before-people that didn't even know you guys personally, WOW!!!
      12 hours ago ·

Saturday was amazing! I am blown away by the Kingsburg community-we had four huge trailers worth of donations that my husband and his friend brought to the site full of furniture, an estate that they picked up Saturday morning (since the two trailers were full the night before, and were full a second time after that). When the mom came by Friday night to drop off t-shirts, she saw my house full of donations, and stuff all over the front of my lawn (it was crazy, my husband was like, how many people did I tell to just drop stuff off at the last minute?) I had complete strangers to me (but who seemed to know everyone in town) that I had never met come to my house at 5:30am, and stay through clean up-and did everything from loading items, to totaling orders, to making the rounds with customers. We had people dropping off washers, and dryers, and a piano from houses getting vacated-and were sold within an hour of drop off. It was insane-couple all that with opening day of softball in town (with a two hour break from team pictures to opening ceremony), our spot being on the main street, right next to the only donut shop in town, and the first weekend of the month-huge success! Even before the tables (which were donated) which were set out at 6am were full, we were busy from 6:30am-2pm, jammed with people.

My friend's teemage daughters were awesome watching my children (one stayed overnight, since Robert and I were both out of the house at 5:30am), my best friend and her daughter helping later with Rebecca, it was incredible. We were back home at 3pm (and considering we had 30 tables worth of stuff, and KCAPS-the local charity, came to us and loaded their truck with everything that was left, that was amazing!). Gratitude doesn't say it all.

The grand total between selling cinnamon rolls, sodas, yard sale proceeds and cash donations, we made $4300. I'm still in shock over that, and have one huge thank you letter to write to the Kingsburg Recorder to all the volunteers, and specific people that helped me execute this event. After all this though, the only thing that would make me happy is just having Auston come home, cancer free.

    • Sometimes life doesn't go in the direction you want, sometimes it leads you on a different path. I had the honor of presenting the Sperling family with $4,459.60 today on behalf of the Kingsburg community. Nothing compares to the road they are on...there are no words, but they are loved and supported. Thank you to all who volunteered, gave their time and energy. We're keeping you in our prayers Auston ♥ — with Dustin Sperling.
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