Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Turkey baby?

11/23/2010, 38 weeks, 4 days
11/23/2010, 38 weeks, 4 days
I write this as R's dropping off the boys at somewhere safe for the day, and I have a few moments of peace and quiet before what could very well turn into the last day of this pregnancy. I'm full of emotion, yet totally calm. Whatever happens, will happen. I've had three healthy children, all came when they were ready, and despite me not being quite ready for them, everything always worked itself out. This little one is showing to be no different than his/her siblings. We'll see what happens, and take it step by step. I can only hope that this child is born healthy and has ten fingers, ten toes. It is coming into a family surrounded by love, and ready to welcome him/her into our world. Ready or not, here we go....

Monday, November 22, 2010

Grateful

I've been thinking about the concept of being grateful-with Thanksgiving next week, people have been posting about what they're thankful for, both big and small. I've also started to hear a lot more talk about the holidays, what people plan to do, where they intend to go, what they want to buy. Of course, hearing the radio, tv, reading the newspaper, internet blogs, magazines, etc.-its everywhere. I'm definitely not a bah-humbag type of person when it comes to the holidays-I think for me I see the religious connection, the meaning of the holidays-being with family, making memories, sharing time with others. I just can't put dollar amounts on that type of stuff-it doesn't work for me. I plug away-do my own thing, hope I'm instilling the values I want my children to have-while still letting them enjoy the holidays and knowing one day they may opt to do the complete opposite of what we do-it just is the way it is.

Right now though, I have an opportunity to help shape and guide them, while living our lives at home. Its our own sense of normal, and it works for us. The kids don't know any different-or if they do, seem unfazed by the differences within other families-I'm sure with time that will change. For right now, I'll just enjoy the ride.

So before the haze of babyhood hits-which has felt like anywhere from the next day to the next two weeks or so, depending on the hour, here is what made me grateful this weekend.
-Hanging out at home and playing pretend animals w/ E
-Going to the grocery store-and buying just what we need to get us through the week-all Thanksgiving meal items already bought (minus fresh produce/fruit)
-getting sleep-whether it was a nap mid morning, or during the afternoon-R helped w/ the kids so I could get some sleep that has eluded me at night
-coffee dates with friends-seeing women that I've known since we've all had our first babies, and our kids have all gone to different schools/different paths-its nice to still talk and meet up sans kids (although we've done it with them too)
-Tiger cubs-glad its a new part of our lives-not sure what to make of the schedule or how much participation is expected-but still ready and willing to take on a new activity, and have there be something special that R can do with our boys at this time in their lives.
-having the basics-knowing that we're going to donate this week to various causes just makes me appreciate what we have, and however tight it may be, still sharing with others who have less than us
-life-Someone on FB posted about a tragic car accident last night that just happened this weekend involving a student from my old high school-my heart breaks for the parents, and just makes me want to hug my boys and R. and family, and just live in the moment that we're alive and well.

All is well here, and don't foresee any problems. Life is a journey though, so we'll see how the rest of the month unfolds.

Friday, November 19, 2010

Celebrations and holidays

The past few weeks have zipped by, quicker than I could have imagined. We celebrated two birthday and Veteran's Day last week, and E's birthday was this week. Its mind boggling to think how two of my babies are already in school, and E is in preschool now. Crazier because at one point we thought for sure we were done expanding our family, but still left that door unlocked-and now as I sit here 38 weeks pregnant, I'm so glad we did. E woke up Tuesday morning, and the first thing out of his mouth (maybe because I called him Birthday Boy) was "Its my birthday!" Total excitement and sheer happiness, no toys to thrill, just knowing cupcakes were on the counter cooling made his day. We had an easy dinner that night of hot dogs & mac & cheese, such as it was on a school night. E had his favorite breakfast (pancakes) which were leftover from dinner the night before, but he was still overjoyed at having them. Last week we did the same thing for R & G's birthday-dinners at home, cupcakes to share with school. Keeping the celebrations simple was initially thought of as a necessity, but I really think it turned out well. The kids just want to snuggle with Mom and Dad, and R just wants to spend time w/ his wife. No fancy gifts could take the place of time together.
I think we're ready for Thanksgiving next week. Providing we're not in the hospital, I have plans to cook up a storm-or at least as much as I can handle, as well as volunteering on the agenda. Invitations have been extended to local friends who may not want to be alone on the holiday-so we'll see who shows up.
Christmas planning is well underway. I took advantage of a holiday deal & spent $10 on 8 games that will be donated/used in gift exchanges. I'm spending the $5 per boy limit on a new basketball, football, & golf balls for the boys. My MIL and SIL are coming down for Christmas and this year its the gift of time and memories that the boys will get from them. I'm looking forward to lounging around w/ family, and enjoying each other. No stress, just bliss.

Monday, November 1, 2010

Countdown

The countdown is on. 32 days to go, three birthdays in a five day period (maybe 4 if this baby decides to come early) and one big holiday-Thanksgiving! I had been wavering on what to do for the birthdays, the holidays, getting things lined up. What seems to have worked well so far is keeping up with what's going on in the day to day, and in these rare three, five, seven minute moments when I'm waiting for dinner to finish, or waiting to pick up the kids, I use that time to jot down ideas in my own little book, my little Fly Lady style notepad. Just thinking about it, getting it down and out, relieves the stress of everything building up at once. While I am somewhat anxious about when this baby will decide to come (middle of the night with everyone home vs conveniently when all the boys are at school/preschool) I really can't control that-so I have to let it go. I'll focus on enjoying the boys, enjoying my time w/ Robert, enjoying what time I have for myself, enjoy feeling this baby move and wriggle and wonder if its a boy or a girl, and how much hair will be on their head. Of course, names are also on my mind. I've been reluctant to share them-because its just one of those things besides announcing a pregnancy, a birth, that mom and dad get to share for the first time. Since I've slacked on posting since being pregnant, I don't think a lot of people read this anymore-so I'll post them here, and I'm sure it'll be new and exciting news to those who don't see it ahead of time. If we have a boy, I'm considering the name Samuel-after my great grandfather or Jonah. If we have a girl, this is where its hard-because we already have three boys (and I seriously doubt we'll have a girl, I have more of a variety-Rachael, Rebecca, Hannah, Miriam, and Lilian (after my great great grandmother-Dorothy and Regina are my grandmother's names, but those don't have the biblical/Hebrew tie in I preferred to keep like I did with the older boys). For all I know, I will have this baby and change my mind again, like I did with each of the boys. Time will tell.

This month went by quickly, and yesterday noted not only the celebration of Halloween, but the one year mark of when I first noticed we had a hot water leak under the slab of our home. It doesn't feel so significant to Robert-maybe because I was the one dealing with all the phone calls, the insurance agencies, the money issues. He was in the background, working to provide for us, but I feel like I carried the brunt of this headache-and tried to keep some sense of normalcy for the boys. It was definitely a struggle, put us in a money pit, but we overcame those challenges. I learned a lot about myself and how to deal with crisis', money struggles, and had some grown-up moments I had not yet experienced since I had lived on my own. I had preconceived notions of how our home would change once we had replaced the carpet/painted the walls, and I've found that its more my attitude change has made more of an impact-not having something shiny and brand new. I can only hope that with the steps I've taken I'll continue to move forward, enjoy my boys, enjoy this baby, be there for others, and enjoy my life.