money is not a cure all

after writing the post from a few days ago, you would have thought i had a firm grasp on what is really important. well, i'm here to say that while that is true, i'm still human and apt to make mistakes. hindsight is 20/20, and tomorrow is a new day, so i won't beat myself up too much.
the day was long, started off bad at the car dealership (cruddy customer service for the 2nd day in a row). it gives new meaning to how easy women are taken for a ride when dealing w/ repairmen. ugh. next time, i'll do my research beforehand, instead of letting the dealership go forward w/ an unneeded adjustment.

talk about switching preschools has come up again-for one too many reasons. the parents of the children m and g play with are leaving the center. to put it bluntly, the center had a mishap (not a life threatening one, but one that involved licensing) and the way they handled it w/ parents that they had once had really good communication with, well, it left a sour taste w/ many parents (myself included). talking w/ the director yesterday, i voiced my concerns (always my childrens best advocate), and while i kept thinking this is good practice for one day when i want to be pta mom, i still felt like there's going to be a major fallout. will it affect my kids? to some degree-but at the same time, my hands are tied.

as i've said once before, i'm looking for part time work. looking for work, i have known i'd have to place e somewhere safe, and i knew that the boys preschool would work w/ us to provide a safe setting at an affordable rate (and being 3 kids, not adding up to a mortgage payment is ideal!) the idea has come up for the boys to switch to where their friends are going-but for one reason or another (too far for us-(its closer to where other parents work vs where we all reside), the religious affiliation, or it just being a temp place for a year before the older kids enter kindergarten and everyone switchs again to another place closer to home, i'm just not sold on the idea. so right now i'm the lone one of a group of parents (who've been together since our kids days in the infant room years ago when us parents were working/in grad school) still planning on working w/ our current preschool. hubby has fully supported me, and told me if i could give him one good reason for the boys not to be where they're at, we'd take them out. yet, i can't-the reasons are all based on what others are doing, not necessarily because something isn't right for our kids. sigh...being a responsible parent is tough stuff.

to close tonight, we went to the farmer's market. spent too much money on bounce houses, lemonade, and yummy sandwiches. poor hubby was trying to win me over through my stomach, but it just made it full-didn't face the issues head on. tomorrow is a new day, so we'll work on that stuff tomorrow.

the cost of friendship

Lately I've been on a mission to revamp a moms group that I joined when my eldest child was a few months old. As a new mom of one, money seemed endless, and I had no clue what to do with those long days while my husband was at work. Thankfully, I was never a big spender-I always loved bargain hunting, but was just as happy to browse as I was to buy. Eventually I connected w/ various mom's groups and that was a great source of emotional support. I found myself choosing group activities over shopping, or other isolating activities. As a result, how I spent our money and my time changed. I became more interested in inexpensive or free activities, not necessarily shunning a playdate at the mall (which typically included lunch at the food court) but also relished the mornings a a local park (the most expensive expense being a cup of coffee to get me going).
In recent months i've noticed another shift within this chapter of my life. My interest in inexpensive activities had grown, and the people who I associate with hold values close to my own. That's not to say I don't enjoy a discussion over which children's clothes are a better value, but I also appreciate those conversations which revolve around how to balance treating myself while factoring the higher costs of necessities. Sounds so simplistic-but at the same time-me and some moms also talk about more challenging things-like the struggle to reenter the workforce, issues surrounding saving for retirement (or college for those who want to return to school). I hate sounding like Ms Suzy Homemaker, when really I'm nowhere near that level of domesticity. I just try to live a balanced life.
Anyways, I digress from my post. Today I went to a free water park (just paid for admission to pay at the site), and the kids had a field day. The moms had a potluck lunch, and we sat under the shade trees with our strollers and towels while the kids were soaked. What I spent ($3 to enter the park) was nothing compared to what I got out of it-I related to moms with multiple children, those who are done having children, those who are on the fence about adding to their brood.
I also saw a face from when I was a mom of one-and she was the mom of two. She looked all put together at the time four years ago when I first met her-now we both looked frazzled from the heat, beat from taking care of children, making sure no one wandered off. Back then, I wondered how she did it-and now I'm doing the same she is-doing it as best we know how.
As much as I worry about how we'll ride out the months ahead-the mold expense in insane beyond belief, and I wonder how our bank account will look once its done, this time today has shown me there's more to life than what money we have to spend. Its about the friendships we have, the memories we make, and the total sum of sticky kisses and water soaked hugs.

odds and ends

today was a bummer of a day. spent the whole day home with a pukey kid, so instead of braving it outside, we were inside with the a/c running all day long. ugh. i did have the opportunity to surf a few blogs during extended nap times.
here's an interesting dish to try for dinner one night, courtesy of Blissfully Domestic: http://www.blissfullydomestic.com/2008/07/dinner-delivere.html
i also listed some stuff on craigslist, and found more stuff to list after bed tonight.
there was other stuff i was thinking about today, but now i'm drawing a blank. i'll come back when i think of it.

fun on a shoestring budget

who says you need to have an endless supply of money to have a good time doesn't know what its like to be creative.
we hit up the circus as a family a couple of nights ago, and saved 50% of the ticket price since we had an entertainment coupon ($30 instead of $60). dinner at mcdonalds-a local special had hamburger happy meals for $1.29; we each had one, dinner was under $5. parking was $7. brought snacks and drinks in the diaper bag, avoided all the crap toys and marketing, and had a really nice time out. total cost $42!
tonight, i went to a local mom's group event, met lots of new moms, out of my comfort zone, spent $5 on the buy-in for the game. hubby brought me there, a new friend brought me home, saved on gas that way. the boys all ate at home (skipped the church carnival they had intended to visit), and i ate at the event. everyone had a good time-and best of all-boys went to sleep w/o much of a fight.
tomorrow's a long day. hubby has a union meeting, so i'm on my own all day. debating whether to hit up the zoo first thing in the morning, or go somewher else. we'll see how the boys moods are, and go from there. happy friday everyone!

how much can we handle?

i knew this was going to happen. a mom i know had baby #3 a couple of days ago. a little girl, with two older brothers. i know a couple of moms who have 4 kids, and seem to handle it well. each have 3 boys, and then a little girl. one mom is expecting her 5th, and as crazy as she thinks she is for having so much on her plate, i admire her for having a part time job that she loves, and still being a full time parent to her children. to add one more to the mix-a mom who thought she was done w/ her three boys (her youngest is going to preschool next year, and her oldest is eight), is pregnant with #4. so now it hits me-i'm envious. what the heck's up with that? sigh...is this what i get for still being a stay at home parent? sigh-just something to think about, even if dh is relatively convinced we're done. sigh......

i hate technology

so reliant upon it-it suck sometimes. i wish dh or i was a tech wizard-once again our home internet connection is on the fritz, and i can't connect to the internet from it. thank goodness we have a laptop-it allows me to stay somewhat connected until we figure out the problem. something about the local area connection and its settings, i don't know. we don't have the extra money to pay for tech support-and geek squad-what a rip off! ughhhhhh.
that brings me to my next complaint, or should i say insight? i should hope that no matter what people spend their money on, that others aren't quick to judge them for their choices. i know i may speak too quickly sometimes, and try to avoid making rash judgements. i guess my main beef is that i've been telling people how i am in part looking for work to help pay for the house stuff (mold) we have going on, (ever mind the fact that i was looking previous to that, but...) and in the same conversation, asked how much preschool costs. i'll be the first to admit-yes, preschool isn't necessary-but like anything its something that is an outlet for my boys, and whether it was that or some other activity, chances are, we'd be paying for something just to get out of the house. if i really needed to, and the mold issue was incredibly expensive, then by all means, i'd put that ahead of sending my kids to preschool. sigh...i'm not one to get all defensive, but this just riles me for some reason....
btw, don't mind me, i'm in a pissy mood :(

stinking heat

omg, its supposed to be 108 today-and the a/c will be on by noon, i'm betting. ughhhh. the big boys have preschool today, so its just me and e. we'll probably hang home-although there's a couple of events (in totally opposite directions) that i want to get out to-between that and the repairman for the freezer, it should be a busy morning. at least it won't be an expensive day (unless you count the a/c running!)