Sunday, August 31, 2014

dreaming

That thing you're good at, the one you think everyone is good at too? We're not. You've got a gift. We need you to know that & share it. - Jon Acuff 8/15/2014

That spoke to me. I've been dreaming again. Picking up the pieces of my shattered heart, three pieces invisible but there. It's one thing to be whole, but another tp be complete. I have plans, ideas I've been ruminating over since the summer began. I loved having an outlet to write, let myself go. With the chopping of my hair, I began the reinvention of me. The mom of four, the wife, coach, cheerleader to my family of six is opening a new chapter. Where it leads, I have an idea yet I'm open to where it takes me. 

I debated leaving this and starting an anonymous blog. Yet this is where I began and where my roots started. Using technology to my advantage, connecting my instagram and Twitter (although Twitter had been used for coupon app/ food pantry donations lately.

My life is a beautiful mess. On this day, the day after my 35th  birthday, I am more than okay with that. I'm happy to be alive and healthy. 

Saturday, February 15, 2014

Where I'm at

My friend just shared this remarkable post from Jon Acuff who I had the pleasure of meeting face to face a couple of years back. I'm not personal friends with him, but just another of one of his fans. Reading this has made me want to write-not that I hadn't wanted to earlier, I just thought, I better grab this chance to write when I can.

I am
-physically getting stronger. Six months ago the word burpee was not in my vocabulary. 5 am wake ups were something I did when I had nursing babies or prep time for grad school.
-grasping at healing emotionally from MILs passing. There are good days and bad, thinking about it too much still makes me wince and feel like I'm pulling off the worst bandage of my life.
-rediscovering cooking. Really cooking. Paleo cooking. Whole food cooking. Instagram, Facebook, Paleo bloggers, the farm stand as inspiration. Boxes/cans are not the primary focal point in my pantry (but I have more cooking pans/tools than I did last October (thankful to my MIL for her kitchenware)
-am a mother who is realizing that her sons and daughter need to see me for who I am, and all my shortcomings. I can't be supermom, and I appreciate when they lend a helping hand to both their dad and me.
-I'm me. A mess of medium long hair that needs to get colored again, nails done, and an updated wardrobe. Yet I can be counted on to make treats for church (16 dozen this morning!) and focus on when I need to be mom or wife. I still have a love of reading, scrapbooking, and couponing, just add foodie and gym rat to the list. I'm me. Rediscovering who I am at 34 1/2, learning grace and being okay with where I'm at. I'm me.