Holiday planning....

I was kicking back last night w/ R, watching the Food Network, when it hit me-Thanksgiving is next week. Its strange because with all that we've been going through, the holidays have been the furthest thing on my mind. On one hand, I have kept up with the boys birthdays, making cupcakes and treats, bringing them to preschool, and having special time with them. But Thanksgiving and Hanukkah and Christmas, eh, its there on the calendar, but I haven't gone into overdrive because of them. I've been using Fly Lady's approach, as I did last year, and its helped me stay calm and not overdo it, because really that's the last bit of stress that I don't really want. I already knew that the theme for this year was homemade gifts. Flip photo books and handprint gifts for everyone, keeping it sweet and simple. Homebaked goodies for friends, neighbors, and teachers. The kids are getting homemade coloring books (my friend shared a neat site with me, and I can use pictures that I've taken of them), and I'm going to make them some new toys out of stuff we have here at home (putting my creative juices to work). I found a link to make Advent ornaments, so we'll be doing that, and making a Jesse tree too. I'm sure I'll find Hanukkah stuff, I just need to look a little more. We hope to be able to spend time with the grandparents this year, the gift of time is what we're focusing on. The kids have seen ads/commercials/talked with playmates about toys, but really, no one seems focused on one thing or another-so I'm not going to push the issue by asking what they want. We'll probably go see Santa, but as Matthew has already been asked by others what he wants, and just gives a shrug, I don't know how that will go over with him. My MIL may or may not give us $30 ($10 for each child), and if so, we'll apply it towards a zoo pass for next spring. Otherwise, I'm not going to get worried about it-I know she has a lot on her mind these days, and frankly with her health going up and down this past year, what I really want is for all of us to just spend time with her. R and I are on the fence about going to the aquarium or to the national parks, we have year passes to both places so both are options. We're only waiting to see how him mom feels, so perhaps we'll see her, or take a trip to see my sister and brother in the Bay Area. Its strange how even though money is tighter than its ever been, I'm actually looking forward to the holdidays more. I really think this will be the year the spirit of the holiday season really hits home for us.

Paddlinig through challenges

The first week of November has been quite a doozy for us. Sad to say, the first 10 days have been overshadowed by our house issues, but then again, it could be much worse. We have a lot of problems as the result of the leak, first of which started with water coming into the house mid week last week in several rooms. We finally got squared away in a hotel for last weekend, and it provided much needed respite away from what was going on. We had to eat out quite a bit, and I'm keeping the records to give to our insurance. I was so glad to get back in the house on Saturday, if only to start up the dishwasher and washing machine (to rinse them out), because I knew we were that much closer to eating at home and being able to sleep under our roof again.

The repairs are not cheap, and the reroute we decided to take instead of fixing just the one broken pipe has set us back $3200 (minus the $300 the insurance is actually paying (they were only going to cover the broken pipe getting fixed, which was $1300, but minus our $1000 deductible is what they pay.) We wanted to take every measure to ensure that this does not happen again-paying for a deductible once is hard enough, but paying for it twice-let alone not knowing what kind of damage that could happen, is much worse. With the payment plan I set up, we'll have that paid off by the end of February, so that's the good thing. Another upside, the insurance has already paid a lot for what has had happened, including the initial leak detection, the cost of the hotel to stay in for three nights, the fee for drying out the house, and will also be covering the repairs that occured as a result of the water damage. Thus far, we have major damage to the carpet in our hallway and master bedroom, and the flooring in both bathrooms.

This has been incredibly stressful, but has shown how resiliant R and I are, and how even under a great deal of pressure I can manage to keep our family going. There's going to be a lot of sacrifices ahead, if only so we can ride out the financial fallout that has occured. No one ever expects to have $3200 cash up front for one repair, on top of other emergencies (I believe I mentioned in a previous post that our pool equipment was stolen, and that will cost $1700 to replace), but it does and has happened. Talking with the various companies that have traipsed through our home over the week, we're one of 100 homes in this area going through this right now. Its an ongoing thing. Ugh.

On the bright side, I have my husband and my kids. I have my health, my two legs that can walk, and my mind that can work until the wee hours and do what work I can to help us get through this crisis. Someone has already told me that 2009 has been quite a year and maybe next year will be better. It strikes me as funny though, because my first and constant thought is we're going to get through this and I can't wait to see how much headway we make (along w/ getting rid of other stuff we were already doing) by the end of the year.

So the first 10 days of November has been quite a mess, but the month is far from over. I can't wait to celebrate the birthdays this month, the first that starts today. I also can't wait to celebrate Thanksgiving, helping out in M's class through the month, and figuring out what to do during our vacation from school. The good times are right ahead, and I'm excited :)

When it rains, it pours-yet life goes on

I've had little more than an hour to digest the information, but I need to get this out so I can enjoy this day-not only for my sake, but the sake of my husband and for my children. The house we live in has issues. We already knew that, and have been dealing with things as they've happened. We've dealt w/ the wind blowing down our fence, to mold near our water heater, our pool equipment getting stolen, and now this. This takes the icing on the cake.

We have a leak-not just any leak-a leak in our hot water pipe that runs through the concrete slab under our house. I heared water running through the walls, and despite R's increasingly bad hearing, I knew I heard something yesterday, and could not figure out what it was. R kept telling me he couldn't hear anything wrong, but I couldn't rest. I went with my gut instinct-the survival instinct that has been kicked into overdrive as I am dealing with a husband whose sense of hearing is getting worse. I had Roto-Rooter come out this morning and confirm what I already had suspected (and had actually researched online last night). Based on how and where I heard the water, the result of turning off the main (and later just the hot water) off, that's what stopped the noise and we figured out what was wrong. We have a slab leak-one that will cost thousands to repair (even if we drill through the concrete to replace (really bandaid) the one pipe that's busted, or set up a new system through our attic (which is preferable, bypassing the old system before the other old pipes in the house bust too). This will actually require us to file a homeowner's claim-thank heavens I did not waste a claim with the stolen pool equipment, because this takes priority. We have the funds, we'll pay our deductible, and deal with whatever we have to file/pay for.

As for our pool, I'm going to talk to our pool man about draining our pool for the winter. Its obvious until we get settled with this leak, that all other repairs come second (including the pool equipment). R's upset-upset about his pay getting further cut, the pool equipment needing replacing, and his fading hearing. At the same time, we've already been doling out extra hugs w/ the kids and really trying to keep life in perspective. As my dad told me today, stuff like this happens, and we'll get past it. It does suck, but where my focus is on now, after I've processed this, is to enjoy Halloween with my kids-because it is fun for them. I have my health, we have our children-our three boys, who if I didn't have, we would be worse off. A broken house in the literal sense will not be the end of our lives, nor will it define who we are. We'll get past this, and learn from it. Now lets have some fun, its Halloween!

The ties that bind

This has been a busy month for our household. Seems that whenever I think I have a moment to sit, something else calls my attention. Now I know why my MIL told me to get my running shoes on once Matthew started kindergarten. Keeping busy has helped me deal with the stress in our lives.

Lately I've been dealing with the emotional baggage from both my parents divorce-selling the house, my mom getting rid of all the material possesions, what that house symbolized, and my SIL's ongoing custody battle . Made me think about my marriage, how I want my children to see their parents, and the lives we lead.

Fastforward a couple of weeks and now R and I are facing a new challenge. He's been having difficulty with his hearing, started with an ear infection that was really e coli-how it got there we have no clue. Antibiotics didn't solve the problem, and R ended up at an ENT specialist. Now two visits later, R's getting scheduled for a CAT scan and surgery is imminent. What we though was just e coli is now something about extra skin growing and blocking his ear canal (and thus affecting his hearing). The drs aren't sure what they're up against, and won't know until they see how much extra skin is there and if they can get it all, and that will happen during the CAT scan and surgery. The fact remains that this will affect his hearing on a permanent level, but to what degree is unknown. There's a possibility R won't be able to continue his career-it would put him and others at grave risk. We can think positive and think about hearing aids, but talking to my husband-this is dealing with who he is, and his self worth as a husband and father who now has worries about how to provide for us if his hearing completey goes away. I've been holding it together thus far. I'll find more work to keep us going, I'll do what needs to get done-using the degree I'm thankful to have. We've discussed R's staying at home w/ the kids. Whatever happens, we'll get through it as a family, bound together. This is how I want our children to see us.

Dates

Sometimes its hard to believe how time passes by, until a birthday or anniversary approaches. This is how it is today as I sit here this afternoon. Today is symbolic for a few reasons, first of a horrible earthquake that rattled our state twenty years ago. I remember where I was, how I was living, and how my family was at the time. Its a bit surreal this anniversary, if only because I realize that M is the same age my sister was when the quake hit-that and his telling me about doing an earthquake drill at school yesterday. Its also the anniversary of when R and I accepted the keys to our first home, set with a five month old baby on my hip. Strange to think how I knew way back then it wouldn't be long before we were settled in, had our family, and send our kids to the schools here in town. Five years later, we have three busy boys runnng around, and while its busy, I wouldn't have it any other way. Life has a funny way of working itself out.

This week was busy, so was last week, and the week before. We had pumpkin patch field trips, soccer practice, PTA meeting, helping out at school, sick kids too, and more filling up our days. Nights are spent doing homework and cuddling, while R is finishing up work or at school. Before you know it, its the weekend again, soccer games, family time, it all has a way of coming and going. I'm glad we live where we do-and the progress we've made to surround ourselves with support, especially as we enter this new chapter with school aged children.

There's more I want to accomplish-always more-but this week R told me to slow down-how to do that, its not my way. I thrive on being busy, but I'm trying to take time for myself, like with a mom's night in last week-that was so much fun, for the conversations from moms who have older children, what lies next for us as our kids get older, and the wisdom they impart about how they take time for themselves, and how marriages evolve. I'm going to work on it though, so I can enjoy what I have built, and what's yet to be built for years to come.

So five years ago, we moved in, a ton of boxes and a little boy tucked an infant car seat. Now we have a kindergartner, one in pre-k, and one in preschool. I can't wait to see what the next five years bring.

Matthew in his car seat (the first day we had our keys!)
Robert in the empty house!

Still looking for the pic of us w/ the sold sign to our home (the one w/ me in it!)...

The fall schedule

Today was the first weekend of fall, and boy did it feel good! Despite M falling sick yesterday at school, and staying home w/ him today, it was really nice to have a hang out at home day. Life is busy during the week, and while we manage to keep ourselves on track, its nice to let loose after soccer games and just enjoy our downtime. Given that M was sick, I stayed home and R accompanied G to his soccer game, with granola bars and fruit juice for his teammates. It was nice having it ready to go, no last minute wondering what I was going to give, or how much it was going to cost, just pulled it from the pantry, and off they went. E stayed home too, and enjoyed some brotherly bonding over matchbox cars and horsey games, not to mention dancing to the radio too.

So this past week is what I hope is a strong, busy season for our family. MS has picked up, as well as auditing. I'm hoping that I can land a job w/ the skills I've picked up, but at the least, it pays and it always gives me a challenge, which I personally need. I also picked up a full day of subbing this week, and have a couple days lined up for next week. I almost had a panic attack when M fell ill at school yesterday-normally I'm the one that deals with the kids when they're sick, but R is showing his full on support for me to reenter work, so he left work right after he got the phone call at 10am (since I didn't realize the school had called me first, and I missed the first call!). Mommy guilt aside, when I came home at 3pm, all was good. R had the windows open, M was on the couch w/ a bucket and cup of chilled water nearby, and the house was quiet. I've never doubted that my husband was not a capable father, but seeing how he handled it, without any leading, coaching, nothing from me, I was in awe. He reassured me that if this happens again, we'll manage, he knows how unpredictable my work is, but on the upside its helping us pull through what has been a trying time. Love my partner!

So work will be work, and we'll manage when the kids get sick. We have a few field trips this month, and I've already penciled in when I need to be where. I'm not worried about the cost, all the eating at home is paying off, and what we would spend on even a fast food meal will cover the cost of the field trips for the kids. We have PTA, soccer, Moms Club activities, and Halloween activites too. I'm looking forward to making costumes with the boys, M is so excited we're making his costume, and G keeps telling me he's going to be a space man too. I love how my kids are easy to please, and for the most part, go with the flow. We may not go out to eat often, or go to activities that require paid admission, but we have a good time and know family comes first.

These are the days

I cannot believe that this is the last week in September. I feel like I've been avoiding my blog, but the truth is that life with three active, fun loving boys, we're on the go, even if it means on the go at home, playing, cuddling, hanging out. By the time I have time for myself, the last place I want to be sometimes is online, since lately when I have gone online its first looking for social work jobs. That said I've been a busy bee, as one friend put it to me recently. The boys are doing awesome in soccer, love how they're growing and learning from their coaches and from their teammates, love how friendships between us and other families are beginning through our connections to both school and soccer, and it is such a blessing for us. It is great to have conversations with other parents at practice about the school, and making new friends for our family.

That said, I have had an awakening of sorts, as mentioned previously in a former post. The comfort level with myself is expanding-who knew that would happen when hitting 30? I've accomplished great and wonderful things, and while enjoying what is, have one foot outside my world, wondering what the future holds, wondering what lays beyond the horizon. I'm at peace with decisions I've made, and have stopped thinking the grass is greener on the other side, since its green and tall and wildly beautiful right where I'm standing. I'm looking in the mirror, and while at night I'm exhausted, its a good exhausted, I'm sleeping at night and taking care of myself, a little more every day.

The holidays are approaching, and it will be a beautiful season. This year, we're doing without the stampede of overspending and list making and craziness of holidays, and just enjoying what we're blessed to have around us. I recently learned how a mom I used to work with for years, one who has a daughter just a few months younger than M, is choosing a different life path now, one far removed from charter schools, soccer, and PTA. She and her husband changed their lifestyle, one that was already far from cushy being social activists in the Bay Area, and relocated to Latin America with her husband and daughter, in the hopes of doing international community-development relief work, which was something she wanted to explore. She wanted to teach her now 5 year old daughter about consuming less, and having a global understanding of the world. That was so profound, and it spoke to how I'm trying to move forward in how and what I and R want to do for our children. I'm a big believer in progress, there's only one way to go, and that's how I and R are living life with our family. So that said, we'll spend less this year, but do more. Give more. Be more. And in the end for us, that will be the best way to be.

One final tidbit, more lighthearted than the previous paragrah, here are some wonderful pictures of the boys, growing more everyday.