What is security? Is it knowing that you have a roof over your head? Food in the fridge? Healthcare? Family? Sometimes I wonder about the world we live in, the world our children are growing up in. I know what I worry about, what my struggles are, and yet I know there's stuff beyong what I can control out there.
I'm not in a pessemistic mood tonight, just thoughtful. My mind wanders to how I observed M's preschool teachers handle an outburst amongst a couple of boys this morning (impromtu visit thanks to picture day) to R telling me to expect pay cuts come Jan 1st. In the next breath he mentions the slight possibility of overtime, but that would only cover some of the pay cut. To my dad calling and telling me he finally found a job-based on what he told me, I figure it's 25% of what he was used to making, enough to cover some basic necessities, but not much more. To calling my mom on her birthday yesterday and leaving a message, despite her not calling either of my younger children on their special day.
Yes my mind wanders tonight, and I think too of what I have. A husband who loves me, and wants to have a date night, even if it revolves around mystery shopping at a bowling alley. To M, who told me I should get a necklace on tv because I'm a girl, G who wanted my reassurance today that no, he wasn't going to get shots at his 3 year physical, and E-who slept in my arms while watching tivo'd shows tonight. We have a roof over our heads, and food in our bellies. We have heat, and clothes, and each other.
R told me tonight that if he lost his job (not a possibility at this point, but pay cuts-that's enough to make him worried), our house would probably foreclose. That's a given-no matter what I make or could make right now, its not enough to cover our mortgage-rent yes, but not a house payment, especially when you factor in everything else-utilities, insurance, maintenance. How does this make me feel-honestly, I told him I could do w/o the house, I really could. We started out with nothing, we could do it. My concern is sticking together-doing what we need to do to provide for ourselves and our children.
I'm not pressing the emergency button tonight, just a caution one. I'm relieved because I know the changes we've made to scale back on expenses, and am grateful I've planned for a quiet holiday season. Not only has it saved us money, but given me some peace of mind. And security, that's the best gift of all.
1 comment:
That's some unnerving news you got today about the pay cut. It looks like you were smart to get everything you needed so that you could sub. That is probably going to be helpful when R's income goes down.
I know it's always in the back of my head what will happen if Mr.Man loses his job. Hopefully you, nor I, won't have to see how tough it would be to try to survive if our hubby was unemployed for any length of time.
I just keep trying to stay positive, while stashing away any extra money that I can and paying off as much debt as I can. You just never know what can happen these days.
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