Thursday, February 5, 2009

Where I'm at

This week is flying by, I'm finding that planning ahead of things to do, places to go is keeping me on track. Yesterday was a busy day, and that was without spending discretionary funds. We were at the right place at the right time, and had a free tour of the firehouse. M and G kept comparing what they saw to Fireman Sam, and were in awe with the trucks and bright lights. It was the highlight of the day. The evening was chaotic, but I think the boys were overtired. Nothing soothed them like curling up and falling asleep in the living room.
Dishes and the mess greeted me this morning. but at least we were all well rested.
I learned my friend who has two boys is expecting a baby girl. This is the same frend that R has told me if she had a girl it would make him think more of adding to our brood. This is after his indecisiveness on having one more baby-since he has yet to make a v appointment, but has told some people we're done, but then flip flops a day or two later.
Meanwhile, I'm happy where we're at-and at the same time I understand why we have two Nov babies-there's something about the time of year, or something about the age of E and G that now makes life managable,and thinks why not-life is already busy but its getting easier to go places, so why not add one more? I'm doing my best to live in the moment, but its sometimes a challenge. Its easier when we're busy-out of sight, out of mind, but its the few quiet moments that I wonder what it would be like to have one more. I should mention that when R and I met I told him I wanted four children, but as time has gone on that number has fluctuated. Part of me is relieved how we let nature take its course thus far, I couldn't imagine not having our three-but planning, ugh, its stressful. Maybe we'll let nature take its course again, I don't like the stress of planning this.

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