Thursday, May 21, 2009

And the family discussion continues

So I've been on the upswing lately, hormones seem to have mellowed out-I missed my appointment this week due to a repair man coming, but have plans to reschedule that by tomorrow. Why is this relavent to this post? Well, R and I have been discussing the future. We have stuff on our plate that we're going to have to deal with in the coming years, aging parents (his) divorce and remarriage (of mine) and the state of our own family (holding steady at five). R broached the topic of finally getting snipped-yes, with a vasectomy. On his own, he made an appointment for it next week, and told me about it today. He wanted to know what I thought. It suprised me to some degree, but then again, I wasn't blown away. He's known for a long time that I'm happy with our crew-they keep me on my toes, and even though I'm overwhelmed at times, I love our three boys. The yearning to have another comes and goes, more seems it hits when I see a new baby's pictures, but then fades away as Coronas and late nights of free time beckons. Also, I love to hold, but love to hand back. The wanting is fading, more as E is getting independant-I didn't have that w/ G, whereas I knew to some degree the want for another child was still there, no matter how faint the want was. R's desire to have another is waning too-if only because he's enjoying having older children now. That and he outright told me that he's sure we'd have another son (after 3 boys, I'm thinking we probably would too!), and I think a tiny part of him yearns for a daughter.

Thus, the topic of adoption has come up. R's open to that idea, once our boys are in school. I'm open to it too-down the parenting line. I know a mom who has six children, three of whom are in highschool/graduating high school this year/in college, two that I believe are in kindergarten, and one who's entering kindergarten next year. The younger three were adopted when they were babies, and it amazes me how this mom and her husband have started all over, when most people would be ready to celebrate the independance of their youth. So it leaves me to wonder, what does the future hold for us child wise. First, will R keep that appointment (which I have to take him to)? R knows I won't get my tubes tied, and he pointed out today that until we take permaent action there's always a possibility of getting pregnant (no matter what b/c we use). Will we make the leap to adoption down the line? Do we want to start over, or go with an older child that deserves a stable home? Or are we going to raise our boys and move forward. One thing I've learned from watching others, families of all shapes, sizes, ages, nothing is ever set in stone.

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