Sunday, December 4, 2011

Adding to the mix

Last night was a tough night. We went to the holiday parade in town, and the kids participated in the floats. I took Rebecca and Elijah and G with me to the preschool float, while Robert took the older boys to the cub scout float. We came home afterwards and watched a holiday movie, and had dinner picnic style together. During the movie, I noticed G was getting restless, and I figured it was a result of the extra activity this weekend and exhaustion, coupled with missing her mom. Then the tears came. I don't think I was really prepared-although I had kept in the back of my mind since having her here that "acting out" was possible-just didn't think of it as sadness, since we hadn't seen it yet; yet it came.

G has been such a mellow child, fits in easily with our children, the most obvious change for me was adding one more plate to the table. Yet our family is just that-a family-that has rules, and nuances, traditions, and expectations. Going from your own home to someone else's you'd see the obvious differences, but give it time, and even the small decisions, such as where items go, how meals are served, and inside jokes, everyday routines surface. I'm sure it would be different if we knew how long G was going to stay here, or if she wasn't able to see/talk her to her mom whenever she wanted to, but it was still tough. It took all my strength to remind myself that God doesn't give us anything that we cannot handle, and that we were doing good by this child and her mom by welcoming her in our home. I know she misses her mom, and I told her in no way was I going to replace her. Robert attempted to talk with her too, but I think it was emotional overload. We called her mom, and arranged for an early visit this morning with homemade pancakes that I'd send over. G was happy to help make pancakes, and even happier to go to her mom's home. We'll see how this afternoon goes, when we pick her up. I don't know what to hope for, or even expect at this point. I just hope that grace and kindness lead me where I need to go, and life falls into place.

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