I made the statement to Robert last night that I felt I had life at home more under control when I was in grad school and a mom to young boys than I do now. He looked at me and said, "You weren't a mom to four then." So is that the difference? If I look at the big picture, there has been a lot going on, but its because I wanted to be an active participant with all the kids. In no uncertain terms have I felt over-scheduled, but instead chose to fully participate in activities that brought joy and purpose to our lives. There have been a series of doctors appointments for the children, but that's on course for taking care of their needs. The me-time I'm used to having has ebbed and flowed with having an increasingly active 11 month old, with both her wanting me sometimes non-stop, and other times, being content to play with her brothers or herself while I take care of something at home. The me-time at the computer has been relegated to skimming on the smartphone, and downloading books to my Kindle. When the night is quiet I want to sit with my husband-who right now is under a lot of pressure with work. Sleep has taken priority, because a teething baby has wreaked havoc on what was a normal bedtime routine.
There's a lot I still don't understand about why things happen-but like I've said before, I'm going to enjoy the journey and where it takes us. Life is too short not to enjoy what's right in front of us. At the same time, in the days/weeks to come, I hope to carve out time to update what's going on here. I have pictures, a video, want to share what's going on with the Allen crew. I have let this blog fall by the wayside, but its not disappearing. Stay tuned.