Mother's Day is one of those holidays I look forward to and dread at the same time. Expectations, memories, wishes, dreams, it all comes to the surface. I am usually an optimistic, full of life, fun loving person, but on this day-I never quite know how its going to be. Memories of my mom during my childhood, teen years, and adulthood intermingle with how I parent my own children, thinking of moms I know thanks to having children, and those who are without their moms/children today. It all leads to an emotional day-one that could either render tears of joy or sadness, smiles or frowns, the cup half full or the cup half empty perspective. I'd like to think I balanced it all, all came to me yesterday, it was just a matter of surviving-and not passing on my issues to my kids-for their own memories of Mother's Day with me are forming now.
I muddled my way through the start of the day, completely aware that I was apt to get weepy or emotional at the drop of a hat. I enjoyed coffee and reading blogs before heading to breakfast with the children, Robert took the lead on grocery shopping, we enjoyed an afternoon of playing outside. I enjoyed sangria on the porch, and Robert made dinner for the family. I avoided the kitchen, except to refill my glass, and the laundry and errands that normally get done, were avoided too. I tried not to dwell on the stuff facing me this week-and soaked up the smiles and cuddles with the boys and baby too. I talked with my mother in law and dad's girlfriend, both who wished me a memorable mother's day and reminded me to just enjoy the day as it came, for my "alone" time would come one day, and I'd miss this type of chaos. I thought of the mom I am, the ones I aspire to, and the ones I'm nothing like. For the most part, we all try to do the best for our children, and even if we have different parenting styles, we're all trying to raise our children to be healthy, well adjusted adults.
On a side note, it was also Matthew's 7th birthday. My sweet boy, the one who turned my world upside down and introduced me to parenthood, is getting tall and lean, loves to run, has an active imagination, and has a heart of gold. I'd like to think he had a fun birthday-even if it meant having to share Mother's Day with me. We sang him happy birthday, and he chose his first belt buckle from the western store. We meant to get summer sandals but the store moved-so that plan is delayed until next weekend. I'm baking him a cake today (I did mention I took the day off from cooking yesterday, right?). Cupcakes were brought in last Friday to school, and he talked to his grandparents who all wished him a happy birthday. It was simple and sweet, and full of love.
So in the end, I survived the day; but more than that, I enjoyed it too. I had my sons and daughter, husband, and my life. I don't need anything more.