I am led by something other than myself-I sometimes don't understand it, but I have to believe that there is a purpose behind everything. I won't lie and say everything is easy-far from it. Yet, I walk with my head held high and try to embrace life as it comes.
My mother in law is ill. My sister in law is responsible for taking care of her. Both of these together is a bad combination-not because I don't like it, but because its the truth. My sister in law, who I love dearly, needs assistance to get by herself. Enter myself and my husband. When we were first dating I told him, I knew one day this day would come. The day where we would have to consider who's going to take care of his mom, his sister, and everything else that goes along with them when they could no longer take care of themselves. I knew deep down it would fall onto us-was I thrilled about it-not really. Yet, I'm not one to turn my back on the responsibilities that lie in front of me. I may take time to understand it-take a little bit longer to take action-but its because I don't want to jeopardize something by acting too quickly, too harshly, and without emotion or caring for others (which is why its hard to make these decisions now).
Every couple of hours I get a phone call. Sometimes its every 15 minutes, sometimes once an hour. Its been a few hours now so I know one is coming soon. Will I keep a steady tone-will I maintain a sense of calm? I could see it as pure chaos and hide behind our doors, take the phone off the hook. Yet that's not me. I will face what comes my way-and show my children what its like to take care of each other (from a distance yes, but that will change too in time). I have changed my prayers-seeking strength and wisdom in troubled times, for my husband and I to come together and face the issues which lay ahead, and for peace.