Friday, December 10, 2010

My sweet girl is two weeks old, and I think we're over the hump of getting used to having a newborn in the house. Taking life slower-or at least saying no-the past couple of weeks has made quite a difference in how recovery has gone. Thanks to an emergency visit to my ob, I found out I'm within 5 lbs of my pre-pregnancy weight (114). My clothes don't fit the same, but the few maternity items I bought at six months are too big. What a problem to have, right? I figure I'll find some better fitting clothes post-Christmas, since I don't expect to fit back into my size 4 jeans ever again. Instead I hope I can maintain this weight-which is healthier, and be more comfortable in my own skin again. I like having this attitude though-it definitely wasn't around post baby #1 or 2, and I think PPD overshadowed a lot of this type of stuff after I had Elijah. Having Rebecca though hasn't been without challenges-taking her for her fifth weight check in two weeks is not what I planned for-but neither did I expect a daughter. I didn't plan on needing to supplement, but I wasn't opposed to it, or crestfallen when the dr suggested it. My plan has been to take each day as it comes-soak up the sweetness, the difficulties, and savor it-because it passes in a blink. The older boys adore her, fight over her, and while our house seems to overnight turned into the house w/ a baby-I knew that would happen-but it has felt like it has been forever since E was the baby-pacifiers, size 1 diapers, and the ever present baby blankets, I wouldn't change it for the world. While it seems that everything has changed-at the same time, it doesn't feel any different. She fits into our lives-perfectly. Robert is smitten with her, I think as much as both of us were nervous and wavering a couple of years ago about adding to our family, we can't imagine not having Rebecca. My concerns about being a good mom to a daughter, while there, are nowhere quite as present as they were before having her. I'm more at peace with myself-maybe its the confidence of having been a mom already, I don't know. I'm sure talking about my worries with R, and knowing I can only control myself-not what lies ahead, makes a difference too. I'm getting more confident in the little things, changing diapers, midnight feedings, and dressing a little girl (pink and purple are new colors for me ;) ) and enjoying the ride. This road that we're on just continues to get more interesting as the days pass on.

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