We got paid this week, and while I normally hyperventilate over the bills that are due-why-because I do feel pressure to make money stretch (and have some leftover for savings), even if its my own doing-for awhile I've had a change of perspective0I know we'll cross each bridge as we get to it. The anniversary of purchasing our home six years ago is quickly approaching-and that milestone puts into focus not only how much our lives have changed since that time, but the personal growth both R and I have experienced together and as adults is on my mind. I feel it more so, maybe because the depth of experiences I've had in the past six years feels like an awful lot when compared to R not hitting those in such a short time frame. I forget where I'm going with this, but the bottom line is that I've been working on self improvement-letting go of control more and more (funny how having more kids has done that to me) because I know too much control will just make me wacky and backfire on me in the future. I've noticed a change with the boys too-as much as we are go, go, go, there are times when I've said we're just not going to get there by a certain time, we're going to have to deal with it (and any consequences), life moves forward. Period. That held true even today, we all overslept, and the boys had a half hour to eat, dress, R and I to make lunches, get ourselves ready, and do what we need to do to get everyone where they needed to be. I think the kids forgot to do something-can't remember what-but the point is they made the bus (which is something they love), no one was super panicked-because we know if we miss it, we miss it, and we all were responsible for not being ready, and we are still standing and in one piece.
I told R last night I feel like when the air gets cooler around here in our physical environment, its easier for me to think. Easier to meal plan, easier to deal w/ chaos, easier to just enjoy my surroundings. Its not to say that life was completely miserable during the heat waves we experienced, but it was definitely a different pace-almost like survival mode instead of relaxation mode. Maybe its the nesting mode, or the laid back mode of just enjoying the last 11 weeks of this pregnancy, but the hum of ideas and to do lists I have have become more laid back-or I just know we'll get to them as we get to them.