The ties that bind

This has been a busy month for our household. Seems that whenever I think I have a moment to sit, something else calls my attention. Now I know why my MIL told me to get my running shoes on once Matthew started kindergarten. Keeping busy has helped me deal with the stress in our lives.

Lately I've been dealing with the emotional baggage from both my parents divorce-selling the house, my mom getting rid of all the material possesions, what that house symbolized, and my SIL's ongoing custody battle . Made me think about my marriage, how I want my children to see their parents, and the lives we lead.

Fastforward a couple of weeks and now R and I are facing a new challenge. He's been having difficulty with his hearing, started with an ear infection that was really e coli-how it got there we have no clue. Antibiotics didn't solve the problem, and R ended up at an ENT specialist. Now two visits later, R's getting scheduled for a CAT scan and surgery is imminent. What we though was just e coli is now something about extra skin growing and blocking his ear canal (and thus affecting his hearing). The drs aren't sure what they're up against, and won't know until they see how much extra skin is there and if they can get it all, and that will happen during the CAT scan and surgery. The fact remains that this will affect his hearing on a permanent level, but to what degree is unknown. There's a possibility R won't be able to continue his career-it would put him and others at grave risk. We can think positive and think about hearing aids, but talking to my husband-this is dealing with who he is, and his self worth as a husband and father who now has worries about how to provide for us if his hearing completey goes away. I've been holding it together thus far. I'll find more work to keep us going, I'll do what needs to get done-using the degree I'm thankful to have. We've discussed R's staying at home w/ the kids. Whatever happens, we'll get through it as a family, bound together. This is how I want our children to see us.