Friday, April 3, 2009

The price of a marriage.

I don't think anyone really thought my parents would split up-I for one didn't see it. 30 years, first marriage, in early 20s when they were married, waited a couple of years to have children, one cross country move, home ownership, involved w/ their children, kids turn out okay. Then again, it didn't suprise me-or at least shatter my world. I definitely think the circumstances under which I left color my reaction to everything.

This is a teachable moment. I know I need to get our finances in order. I know I need to be able to support myself and our children. I love my role as wife and mom, but seeing how 30+ years can end, no marriage is perfect. I don't ever want to be blindsided the way each of my parents have by the other's actions. This is only the beginning (middle?) of the end, and its going to get worse before it gets better.

1 comment:

Jilse said...

I think that your parents divorce has affected you very much. You strive for self suffiency because you see how being a Stay-at-home mom affected your mom and her life when they divorced. You want to be able to support your family on your own if the pieces fall apart. I wonder how strong your drive would be for that if your parents hadn't divorced?

I have my own baggage from my parents divorce. I think that every child does, even when the parents divorce in adulthood. We all take the lessons we've learned and apply them to our own lives as to prepare ourselves if we are faced in the same situation.

Just be aware that you are not your parents, and neither is R. You have a different relationship, a different family, and you can choose to live your life and marriage differently. Your eyes are open to your parents mistakes, but don't be blindsighted by things you may be missing either.