Crossroads

Its late, I can't sleep. I hate nights like this, when I know I should sleep, boys always get me up super early. I have thoughts swimming in my head, so maybe once I get them out, I can go to bed, with my mind at ease.

I picked up our refund check today. It sits like a heavy weight. I love having the money, yet I know it'll be gone in a blink of an eye. I know the sooner we apply it to bills, the freerer we'll become. R wants to put some aside as part of our emergency fund-I'm torn. I really want to erase one more debt from our lives. As it stands, this month we're done paying for our dental expenses, but as we have a visit next week (and I'm pretty sure I'll need an old cavity filled again), I don't know how long that bill will have a zero balance. At the same time, I rather have my teeth than have bigger problems. So, we'll see. We're going to talk about it this weekend and revise our plan.

Our photographer sent an email about family pictures at the beach. I'm tempted to do them for M's 5th birthday, as well as a combined Mother's Day and Father's Day gift for R and me. It is the only way we do our pictures-and I love how they come out-no questions about it. And I miss the Bay Area-what better excuse to go up north for a weekend getaway?

My dad is visiting this weekend-its a suprise for the boys. I'm a bit nervous-its the first time we're seeing each other face to face since I loaned him money for the attorney-and yesterday was the hearing and I didn't call him. For some reason, while the divorce of my parents is important, I feel like I'm busy taking care of my own family (mainly making sure the boys don't hurt one another!) to get involved in their drama.

R is stressed, school is getting harder, and time is passing by faster than he blinks. I'm relieved spring break is next week-if only so he has one job to tend too, and not two. Add in our anniversary towards the end of the month, and R wonders where I want to go for dinner-meanwhile I'm perfectly happy eating at home. Right now I feel like eating out is highly overated and it doesn't appeal to me.

Another thing that doesn't appeal to me-paying for activities right now. I read something yesterday about living below our means now and reaping the rewards later. I've bene on the fence for so long about summer activities-I still don't know what to do-and R has left it up to me. M was interested in bowling recently, I almost wanted to do that once instead of invest in some set 4-6-or even 8 week class. I'm not sure if that's the route I want to take-I like options, choices, not feeling broke in summer even we are watching our dollars more. Time will tell what we decide to do-having a coupon book eases the pinch, that's for sure.

I'm of to bed, my fingers have slowed their frantic pace. Hopefully I won't be a walking zombie in the morning.