Dreams

I had the weirdest dream- I saw myself taking a pregnancy test, and finding out it was positive. The odd part-it wasn't me doing it like I did in the past. Maybe watching a show with a newborn in it last night messed with my head, since yesterday I thought how some days it feels like we're in a good groove with 3 kids, more than it was even six months ago. Sigh....

A friend's mom is really ill right now. It made me think of my mom, and how I wish we could have a relationship. However the reality for right now is that she has major control issues, can't stand my spouse (let alone all my siblings partners), and has caused major stress for my dad (which caused stress and chaos in my life). I should also mention she's never seen E who's now 16 months old, and looks a lot like how I did at his age. It doesn't stop me from loving her, or telling the boys that they have a grandma, but I can't deny the facts. Sigh.......I sincerely hope my friend's mom pulls through, my thoughts have been with them since I heard the news.

Yesterday was a long day. Playgroup didn't happen as planned, and I took the boys to H town. M suprised me w/ his memory, he remembers the train ride we took with our friends last year. I remember how we've gone every spring since M was one. I hope to go again this year, even if's just me and my boys. Its a great day trip and well worth the $20 rail cost. We walked around, saw a spelling bee take place-M thought that was the coolest thing! It was an inexpensive way to spend the afternoon, and we made it home before the rain started to fall.

The next two days are busy with audits, thankful for some work, and even more thankful it won't take long to do the assignments. I'm gaining new skills and becoming efficient with my time. It makes me appreciate the time I have with the boys on a daily basis.