Oh how it's turned my life upside down! I have to admit, being called Mrs. A is such a switch from being referred to as Mommy, M's mommy, or that one w/ the three boys.
R helped me get situated yesterday, drop off w/ E went off w/o a hitch. The boys didn't look back, toys and friends were more interesting than me. Pick up time-met with lots of love from E, and the boys jst wanted to play outside. It was a long day, but it seemed everyone was happy. I have to admit though, I'll stop worrying about kindergarten. Its high school that worries me more now. Yikes!
While at work, when I wasn't helping kids w/ worksheets, I read this book I got from the local library, "What's next-Women Redefining Their Dreams in the Prime of Life" by Rena Pedseron. The title struck a chord w/ me, since I'm nearing 30, I've gone to college, earned my Master's Degree, got married, had children (and I think completed our family), and already I'm wondering what I should be doing. Not that having children isn't rewarding, but its a thankless, neverending job, and sometimes, I want to literally run for the hills-although at the same time I love my kids to pieces. I love snuggling w/ E, reading stories w/ G, and having random conversations w/ M. Will all of this disappear if I decide to go to work full time (if the right social work job came along?) I don't know. However, I'm finding that I need to listen to my inner voice, stop worrying what "they" think, and live my life w/o regret. Easier said than done, but obsessing about what should be isn't helping me.
Two quotes stick out for me right now
"No matter what happens, keep on beginning and failing. Each time you fail, start all over again, and you will grow stronger until you find out you have accomplished a purpose-not the one you began with perhaps, but one you will be glad to remember." -Anne Sullivan (Helen Keller's teacher)
"All adventures, especially into new territory, are scary." -Sally Ride, Astronaut
I wrote these down on paper, and keeping them with me. I'll enjoy the time I work, knowing its just as much for me as it is to help my family, and then I'll come home and love my kids to bits.