Thursday, April 17, 2008

new perspective

i love to read. read magazines, online communities, newspapers, you name it, chances are i've either read it, or mean to read it. today however, i read something that just made my heart swell. it was the blog of a momma i know from a mom's group. the mom of one, she reminds me of how i was with one child. i may have been thoughtful about money then, but nowhere to how i am now. i seriously have changed perspectives-i definitely think going to grad school has broadened my perspective on life, the ups and downs, the cruelness of others, and the sheer kindness of strangers. i think what i need to do is twofold-one, i think its time i try to go back on my meds for ppd-i have a couple of refills left before my next exam, and i've debated for awhile whether to refill it-i'm not sure if my money worries are tied into this, but given how my mood swings have been since having baby e, anything is possible. secondly, i'm not going to just use this blog for finances, but for my daily ramblings too-most of it is tied into money, but others into different facets of my life. i think by documenting the goodness of my life i can once again feel whole. i miss who i was; then again, maybe i just lost sight of who i've become, and need a space within to write, dream, breathe-without a child nursing, or clinging to my leg, or a husband asking me for the umpteenth time where the ketchup is in the fridge. this is me. and who i want to be.

1 comment:

Jilse said...

Love the pics you posted. I really love the last one of your graduation. The smile says "I did it!! I actually did it!!"

I give you a ton of credit for getting your Masters when you did. I cannot imagine how hard that must have been for you then. I know I knew you then, but I never saw all of you, the side that you keep somewhat hidden. It must have been soo hard at times, but you did it!! And no matter what noone can take that away from you.

I think that using your blog as an outlet to just be yourself, is a great idea. It can be about anything. I find that I use my blog as a sounding board for my thoughts often, that aren't always tied down to our finances. I find I can sleep better if I can get things off my chest and let them out, even if I'm only writing to myself.

I love reading your blog. I feel like I get to see a different side of you sometimes. You are always so unbeat and happy in person, you never say an unkind word about anyone and I really admire that about you. I feel like here I see a little bit into your private self. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to read your blog, and to see that other side.